Monday, March 30

patience, my dear! on breathing, healing, and going back to school

Dear Kind Readers,

Mr. Wonderful is going back to school. The road has been a bit bumpy, but he is hanging in there. I thought for sure this would be a brilliant idea, because imhyao, he is brilliant, an absolute genius for sure. Studying his passions in a university environment would be something he would enjoy, I was certain. He wants to do weather and environmental research, and basically advise the weather announcers what is going to happen. He is all about weather and science, marine, tornadoes, you name it. The above images make sense to him, and fascinate him. Just having the conversations with professionals and experts is an experience I want him to have. The degree would just be the paper work to open doors in order to do what he loves...

He is a true renaissance person: sciences (atmospheric, earth, etc), history, politics, photography, writing, you name it. After we got together, I thought, I WANT him to have the opportunity I had in going to college. (He went to the Coast Guard right after high school, then worked, then went to theology school, then worked, then volunteered, and worked, gave his all to a church, all at the same time, you get the idea.)

He was able to visualize going back to school after some months, and was finally willing to apply and take time off work for going back to school at age 36. I also have a work benefit for spouses to go to school, with a substantial chunk of tuition covered.

Part of the reason I returned to Miami, with him in tow :), was for him to go back to school.

As I say, there has been a bump or two in the road. And I love him so much, and it is hard to see any bumps. We did not sign up for any more bumps. So basically, it has taken longer to get the process going than we expected. I am afraid he has gotten a bit taken aback with it all.

I do think things have unfolded a certain way for a purpose, and I have been hoping to get him to de-stress along the way and he has. That has been very important for his health! Just breathing and dreaming was his job, I told him. For the first time in his life, after giving more than was imaginable his whole life, I just wanted this childhood love/love of my life- of mine to breathe and heal from our unbelievable life stories.

This week we will learn more, and he will be on his way, I project. Any support you want to send him on his way back to school, now entering late thirties, and rethinking all our "masculine" and "marital" stereotypes, would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

We have basically said screw it to all the "shoulds" of everyone else's, and decided to live life on our own terms from here on out, and we just need the universe to catch up, on his school entry front.... but again, I know the timing has been right, and just love him so much and do not want the timing being different than expected to get him down.

I told him, yes, it's a pain, and anything worth doing is not so easy or everyone would do it. This process is not easy, but worth doing, we both agree. We are on the way, just doing things our own way, in our own timing. There is no rush, I keep saying to him, we have the rest of our lives, and it is not about pressure. The trip when I first saw him two years ago, and we knew we'd get married, we agreed, there had been "enough bullshit to date."

Now, on to the bliss................


  1. Oh...I say GO FOR IT! What's a few years in the grand scheme of things. Plus he is only in his thirties...he'll still be in his thirties when he is done. That's young! Can he get any support from the GI Bill? In terms of Masculine and marital stereotypes...that is SO yesterdays news ;~)

    Loved the recipe...BTW!

  2. All the best to your husband with college! I think it's cool that you do not let others' expectations define anything in your lives.

  3. Thanks Linda and Anne!!! You are right, it is so yesterday's news... we have just noticed how many particular extended family members are ENTRENCHED in yesterday's news. We are good with this plan! That is what matters here.

    I think he will be past 40 by the time it's "done", as I am sure he will do a master's and possibly a Ph.D., which he is so shocked about, I think, but, I say it's just a piece of paper and he already has its equivalent!

    Thanks for the support :)

  4. Well I might be 41 but that's ok. Were all good in the hood. With Sobe as your hood you cant let anything get ya down.

  5. I'm just browsing through some of your old posts, but I wanted to say, for the record, that I am SO glad that you two found each other again after all those years. You make my dear friend SO very happy, and he deserves only the best! It's beautiful to see ho it works out when God brings two together to be as one. Thank you for loving him well.


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